Once a day
All my troubles did get shagged away
But I can’t perform at all today
Oh how I wish for Once A Day

Awkwardly
Why can’t sex be like it used to be
Things don’t come so easily to me
Once A Day is now awkwardly

Why I
Need a blow? I don’t know, I couldn’t say
I know right from wrong, how I long for
Once A Day

Once A Day
Making love was more than just foreplay
We all need a shag or go astray
It was nice’n'easy Once A Day

If she
Didn’t know, how to blow, I wouldn’t say
She said
This is long, sing a song for Once A Day

Once A Day
Making love was more than just foreplay
Now once a week, every Sunday
It used to be hot Once A Day

La La La , Di Dee Di Dee Di, Once A Day
Oh how I dream of Once A Day
I remember Once A Day
It seems just like Yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!1

It’s late on a Saturday afternoon
My head’s thumping, like a Drummer Boys tune
The clock on the wall reads 4.45
I nip my arm to check I’m still alive

After a while I throw up in the bog
I think that I’ll get a ” hair of the dog”
My wallet’s not empty, that’s a good sign
I better steer clear of that cheap red wine

My mouth needs “Hoovered”, and I need a smoke
Lit up, began thinking, when someone spoke
Oh shit, I’ve just slept with my best friends wife
This is going to complicate my life

I’m wishing that this is just some wet dream
I’m still thinking, trying to hatch a scheme
She looked real good, she smelled even better
A short skirt and a red V-neck sweater

I’d never thought of her this way before
We kissed then made love on the bedroom floor
She screamed so loud as she came from above
For an hour or two, I was in love

I don’t think I can face my friend again
Is there really sunshine after the rain?
I’d fallen in love, she gave me the key
The key to her heart, is what she gave me

How could I? Now he’s no longer my mate
Me and his ex-wife are getting on great
When love comes knocking you’ve got a new friend
A friendship that lasts to the very end??

Hello, my blog is here, and I must say my back is hurting
My blog’s may bring a tear, and maybe a bit of flirting
I’ve blogged and broke the rule, And I’ve surfed t’internet highway
I’ve bored, but just one wish, I blogged it my way
My blogs, are blogged for you, but yeah I know that is pretention
I blogged what I had to blog, even with a great big erection
I have no plan or wooden horse, A careless post, blogged on a weekday
Oh yes, I’ve just one wish, to blog it my way
Yeah there were blogs, just one or two,
that didn’t mean a thing to you
But through my blogs, I learnt to shout
I met new friends who helped me out
I typed them all, and had a ball
And blogged it my way
I’ve blogged, I’ve shed a tear, I’ve had my fill, my share of boozing
I stink but blogged all that, and can I say, in a fly-way
But no, oh no that’s me, I blogged it my way
For what is a blog? What has it got?
A bit of fun, a bit of snot
To post the blogs in between meals
And not the blogs of my ideals
My blogging’s slow, and God only knows
I BLOGGED IT MY WAAAAAAAAYYYYYY

I don’t need a crock of gold
I don’t need a witches brew
I don’t need the pope in Rome
I don’t need any one of you
I don’t need any inner peace
I don’t need any black magic
I don’t need the Sun to shine
I don’t need anything tragic
I don’t need the holy bible
I don’t need the word of God
I don’t need your Jesus Christ
I don’t need another silly sod
I don’t need a statue of Budha
I don’t need any crystal healing
I don’t need any fake astrology
I don’t need any group-hug feeling

I don’t need your worldly dignity
I don’t need someone to follow
I don’t need your type of humanity
I don’t need the Greek God Apollo

I only need to be me
It’s not virtual reality
It’s what I need to be
Just holding on to sanity